A girl's mind... [Poem]

Is it that hard to see?
What you're doing to me?
Do you know how much I'm hurting?
Or you just choose not to see?

Do you do those things on purpose?
Or do you just not care at all?
Am I reading you and the signs wrongly?
Am I the one at fault?

Somehow the tears get choked up
And confusion is all I see.
Is it true that you still love me?
Or just the idea of me?

Am I just a toy?
Did you get bored of me?
Or maybe I’m just paranoid.
Maybe you're just busy.

I'll bear with it,
You didn’t call.
I just hope tomorrow
Won’t be the same

I'll live that I didn’t know where you were
I'll just pray it doesn’t happen again.
I wont let it hurt when you don’t sms
Maybe your bill is high

I won’t cry when you don’t show up
Maybe there's a lot on your mind
I'll let it slide, you said, "I'm busy"
I won’t let it get to me

Maybe tomorrow will be better
No, I'm sure of it
I'll forget how many times this has happened
Because I love you still

My thoughts keep circling you
My heart is made of you
Some nights I just can’t sleep
Because I just miss you

When I turn its always you I see
But you're not really there
When there's a call, it's you I hear
Although it just can’t be

When I say things I don’t really mean
You just don’t get it at all
Why can’t you see what I truly feel?
I'm saying I want you still even more!

I don’t want a break-up
I don’t want you to go away
I don’t mean it when I say "don’t call"
Or when I run away

I just want for you to hold me tight
And stay right where you are
I want you to call even though I'll yell
And that you'll catch me when I fall

I want you to show up when I least expect
I want to argue who loves more
I want you to just be there
And to pick up when I call

The things I ask aren’t that much
Though I know it doesn’t make sense
I just want; I need you to SHOW it
If you love me like before

If you don’t I guess it’s just too bad
Because you mean the world to me
But if it’s true then what I can do?
I can only walk away

To turn my back would cause so much pain
But there's nothing I can do
At least I wouldn’t suffer
Wondering if you love me too

Writer's note:  This relationship turned out to be completely not worth it. At the time, I was too infatuated and "in love" to see it but really, if a guy keep treating you badly, it's time to leave, no matter what your feelings are. Even if it might not seem or feel like its true, there really is a guy out there who will and WANTS to treat you the way you deserve to be treated =) Take it from me.