Call Him (Story)[medium]

“Call him. Call him!” a part my mind egged me on as I weighed the phone in my hand. “But I’ve never talked to him on the phone before. What if he thinks it’s weird?” the other part, the shy and reluctant, spoke up.
“Stop worrying! You spend so much time together in school and your phone inbox is usually full of messages from him!”
“Yeah but that is all as friends!”
“So? Just call him- as friends.”
The battle raged on in my head as the music floated out of my computer speakers. ‘No chance, no way. I wont say it, no, no.’ I rolled my eyes at the irony.
“Do you like him?” asked a third voice from the depths of my mind. “Do you have those feelings for him?”
“I-“ the words were lodged at the back of my throat and I couldn’t force them out because I wasn’t sure what they were. “Eergh!” a deep groan resounded from inside me. It wasn’t that I didn’t know but a case of I didn’t want to admit my feelings, not even to myself.
I closed my eyes and sunk onto my bed. For one moment, I promised myself only one moment, I thought of Leon. My friend and favorite idiot that took pleasure in teasing me. Over the last few months, we had formed a strange friendship, one that mimicked the bond between siblings, followed the lines of friendship yet fluttered in the air every now and then as the suggestion and faint hint of something ‘more than just friends’. What I didn’t know was if he saw it too.
His smile, the sound of his voice, all the times when I felt him near me; it just sends this jolt through my senses. I don’t want to have to breath, speak, move or even think. I sighed as I breathed in the cool air flowing from my air-cond. When I can feel the heat of his body near mine- it’s lucky that my best friend hasn’t figured out how I feel by now.
I smiled as I thought of Adrianna or Adie as I called her. Adie was the one who brought Leon and me together as friends. She was the catalyst and glue. The three of us were so tight, our classmates and other friends many a times thought he was together with one of us. Adie. I laughed imagining her reaction if she knew. She’s been teasing me every now and then about my friendship and closeness to Leon. Sometimes I would tell her she was just jealous.
It was confusing, how I felt. My emotions were like the wind; invisible yet appearing in full force at the most random of times. I didn’t want this but my emotions were undeniable and growing with every passing day.
“If only you could tell me what to do, Adie,” I murmured as I sat up. My eyes roamed the contents in my room, eyeing the things that made this room me. Books stacked randomly, not yet placed onto my shelves. Papers in messy piles on every surface including the floor; fliers, bags and cds. Getting up, I swipe my house keys and hand phone off my study table and head down my spiral stairway.
Within minutes I was out of the house with the wind flying past me as I sped along on my bicycle. The weather was perfect. The sun had not yet set while the air was cool and damp; it had rained an hour ago. Familiar roads and houses passed me by as I headed off to my mysterious destination, so mysterious I had not figured out where it was.
Then it came. I squeezed the brakes and came screeching to a halt at the path leading into the park. The sound of the ice-cream man’s bell and the cheerful screams and laughter of children drew me in like a person in the desert craving for shelter. “Leon, Leon, on my mind. I think about him all the time.” The random rhyme popped into my head and a steady blush colored my cheeks.
“Maybe I’ll just send him a message,” I told myself and extracted my phone from the bottom of my pocket. After all, I messaged him all the time and sometimes we left them hanging for hours and the conversation would drag itself on for days. I smiled at the memories.
“Hey, sesat girl!”
It was his voice. I turned and when I saw him, the smile on my face froze and the words on my lips just faded away. He was with a girl I had never seen before. No, I had seen her before in one of the pictures on his phone. She was slim, pretty and had a figure I would die for. In short, she was what I am not.
“How come you’re suddenly at the park? Where’s Adrianna?” He asked, closing the distance between us but yet I couldn’t help noticing that he was always by her side.
“At home, I think. I don’t have to go everywhere with her, you know,” I retorted, trying to keep a calm mask on my face to hide my emotions. Who is this girl? His friend? His girlfriend?
“Oh, this is Celina,” he offered the meager piece of information. “Celine, this is my classmate, Alex.”
Classmate. The word echoed in my mind. That’s who I am to him. Not the friend but the classmate. I swallowed my hurt and smiled. “Hi. How do you know this idiot?”
She laughed. “Oh, Leon and I are tuition friends and he’s supposed to be teaching me how to play Frisbee.”
“Cool. That’s – nice,” I managed.
“Want to play? Some of the guys are here. You can play game with them if you want,” Leon gestured further into the park. I looked and true enough I could make out some of the boys from my class running around just further ahead.
“Maybe I’ll just say hi to them,” I said casually and pushed my bicycle in their direction. Anything to get away.
“So you’ve met his new girlfriend?” Daniel grinned as he pulled the Frisbee out towards Ben.
“Girlfriend?” the word rolled around my mouth like a foreign food I wasn’t sure I liked; it left a sour and stale taste on my lips as I uttered it.
“Yeah, just official last night. He’s been after her for months.” Daniel throws a glance at me. “Didn’t you know?”
I shrugged nonchalantly. “He doesn’t tell me much personal stuff. We just usually crap and argue. We’re not that close,” I forced a laugh and grinned at Daniel. “Anyway, I just stopped to say hi. I got to go.”
“Ok. See you tomorrow!”
I nodded my head and turned away, hoping that he wouldn’t notice the tears forming in my eyes. I got onto my bike and sped out of the park, praying desperately I wouldn’t have to face Leon and his new girlfriend. I cycled out and up the road that lead towards my house but stopped just outside a place I knew and loved. I wiped my eyes and cleared my throat as I held my phone to my ear, waiting to hear the one voice I needed so badly.
“Hello?”
“Adie, are you home? Can I come over now? I need to talk to you.”
“Who’s this?”
A chortle escaped me. I had woken her up from her nap. “Adie, it’s me. Can I come over.” It came out sounding like a statement, not a question.
“Huh? Oh. Ok. What happened? Come on over. Where are you? Are you ok?” she asked, question after question.
I stayed silent for a moment and raised my eyes a few meters to the window on the second story.
“Alex?”
“I’m outside your house.”
“What? Yeah, ok. Come on in. But give me a moment before you come in my room.”
I rang the doorbell and after the curtains pulled back for a moment, the gate swung open. “Hi, Alexandra. Adrianna expecting you?” her mum greeted me as she unlocked the grill gate. She was used to me dropping br randomly.
“Hi, Aunty. Yeah, just called her a moment ago,” I offered a smile before I entered the house.
“Ok then. Just go on up. She’s hibernating in her room again.”
“Thanks.” I darted up the stairs and knocked on Adie’s door.
“Come in!”
I swung the door open, walked in and closed it after me. Adie was sitting cross legged on her bed and gave me a questioning look as I entered. I just stood rooted to one spot as if I was in a completely unfamiliar place and moment. Then, out of no where, a lone sob escaped me.
“Hey, come here. What’s wrong?” a new tenderness entered her voice as she got up and pulled me towards her. I sank myself onto the floor.
“I saw Leon with his new girlfriend,” I blurted then felt stupid and hurt, hearing those words out loud.
“And you feel upset because you like him,” she said. “I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you but I just didn’t want to hurt you unnecessarily because I thought she didn’t like him.”
I looked up at her with a look of pure disbelieve. “You know? You knew?” Adie nodded her head, looking slightly ashamed. “You know I like him? How?”
“Because I know you.” She looked me straight in the eye as she delivered the line I had so often used on her.
I groaned as tears flowed down my cheeks uncontrollably and my body started to shake with the silent sobs I choked out. The pain was unbearable. Of all things, this was the most unexpected. “How am I supposed to face him?”
“Like you always do,” Adie answered me. “It’s ok. It’ll be alright.” She wrapped her arms around me and stroked my hair. “Cry if you have to.”
At least I still have my Adie.