Best Friends (Story)[medium]

Dear B,
Gosh, it seems like years since I’ve written to you but it’s only been a few months if you also count those I’ve written halfway but then abandoned because I don’t know what or how to say what it is on my mind. I know this is sudden and you’d say it’s soppy but I miss you so much which is stupid because you are always around somewhere.
I remember how close we were. There was hardly a time when we weren’t together and if we happened to be, we always knew roughly where the other was. We always knew what the other was thinking or about to say. It was kind of cool; sometimes it seemed like we were twins. And we always talked on the phone. Remember our phone record? 5 hours and 47 minutes.
No two girls could have been closer. We poured out our hearts and souls to each other until we absorbed a part of each other into ourselves. We knew each other’s likes and dislikes till the most insignificant things like the fact that you always put on your right shoe first or that I have a silly fear of smashing into a big glass window because I didn’t know it’s there. I remembered your house number better than my own!
Sometimes I wondered how two so very different people could be friends. You were always the centre of attention while I was content with my quiet corner. I was quiet, a loner and quite anti-social while you were the opposite. You were and surely still are a devoted Christian while I attended church about twice a year if you don’t drag me there. We shared the same love for writing but even then we were different; I wrote centered on the present, teenage, while your works were adult and mature, based on the real outside world. I had no doubt you would have been first to publish a book.
All the differences seemed to become more glaring and obvious as our friendship progressed but it never took a toll on our relationship. We just learned to give and take and now when I think of it, it was ourselves that we gave and took. In the end we became a big part of each other and we it was like we had each other written into our souls and DNA.
You were always the best friend I had wished for as a child; loyal, trustworthy, true, kind, friendly, funny, understanding and witty. Everything I hoped for and more, you were all that. To tell the truth, sometimes I wondered what it was I ever did to deserve a friend as great as you. You weren’t perfect and neither was I but in a way that’s what made our friendship so special: going through the shit together with nothing but ourselves and each other.
I miss you so much. I often cannot help myself from thinking about that- incident that parted us. I remember how I kept looking by my side for you whenever I had a wisecrack to deliver or something to ask your opinion on. It took me awhile to realize you weren’t glued to my side anymore. It came with an odd sensation, a mix of emotions so complicated sometimes I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or go on with life. The worst part is that you were always somewhere, nearby but too far out of my reach. Till today I still wonder how could you?
I remember the first time I got my heart broken. You missed your first club meeting as President to be by my side and when you had to leave, you called me as soon as you could. I never really thanked you for that and for when you punched him for spreading rumors about me. That was and always will be one of the most amazing and memorable things I’ve ever witnessed. The memory still makes me grin.
I’m representing the school for volleyball (the ‘violent’ and ‘painful’ sport you dragged me into) but I bet you knew that already. I never doubted that you were there watching over me as usual although literally you weren’t. You were always oddly protective of me. Are you still like that?
The other day, I was talking to a friend of mine and we came up on the subject of you. I couldn’t help feeling this incurable pain and sadness as I thought of every moment we shared and every trial we had faced together. I couldn’t help wondering again, “How could you?” Then my friend asked me, “If you were in her position would you have done the same?” Without hesitation, I said yes. With a smug look, she leaned back into her chair and just looked at me. Oddly, I had never thought of that before. This realization left me confused and clear. I know its contradictory but it did.
I went for Youth service last Saturday and Pastor John asked, “What kind of friend would die for us so willingly? Who would?” He meant Jesus but all I could think of was you. I wondered what really made you do it. How you managed to push me to safety while you yourself got crushed by the tree. By all logic and reason, it wasn’t possible that I would be the one who survived. You had the highest chance of living but somehow you managed to do it; you saved me by sacrificing yourself. It just wasn’t possible! But you still managed to do it. I wonder why we were up in the stupid tree anyway.
Sometimes I hate you. I’d think, “How could she do this? How could she trade her life for mine? Why do I have to be the one who suffers from losing someone I love so much?” I know it’s stupid but I didn’t want to be the one who picked up the phone to call you only to realize the moment I hear your brother’s voice that you are never going to be on the other line again. I didn’t want to be the one who cycled past your house and look up at your window to look for your face then remember you’re no longer there. I wondered how you could let me ‘suffer’ like this by dying for me. Then I’d think, “Because she loves me.” I have never and will never doubt this simple truth.
Even as I write this, I know you are reading over my shoulder as you always do when I write. I hope that as you are reading you’ll know and always remember that I miss you and I love you too. You will always be my best friend and I can’t wait to see you again.

Forever,
Alex